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to grow or not to grow.

Out with the old and in with the new.

A well established saying on how to grow.

Ive said it before but have i meant it before.

If id meant it before you’d know.

its time for me to build the bridges i build, not for someone else.

Its time for me  believe in the one who got me where i am, yeah that’s me,  myself.

I’m not a selfish person but it can come across that way.

I have grown as a person, and now i reach for many better days.

Clark French.

Happiness

Happiness is relative

to the state of yourself

before i was lost

wandering alone in the desert

forever catching glimpses of the holyland

I approach excited, only to find another mirage

And then it happened.

My vision was true

The city awaits me

I can see the lights, smell the people and the commotion

The walled gate houses stand tall, and proud

Gates open open wide in greeting to me.

I can see the temple, its golden dome shines.

serinity and peace lie within those sacred walls.

this cant be a mirage, for here i am amongst the people

although the crowd is strong in front of me

and many paths must be taken through the throng of people

Now i can see the desitination it makes those many nights of cold

and the days of blistering, all worth it

if i can just touch serenity again.

 

 

Relative Strength.

Will i ever be able to value myself for who i am – not the worth others put on me?

I know that i am strong

I know that i can deal with anything life can throw at me

Why does one moment of insignificance destroy me?

Its so difficult to understand these strings that bind me

Reacting the same way every time something doesnt go my way.

To feeling worthless if its not my day.

Will i ever be free of this deep self-loathing which stirs from within.

I know this is something i need to deal with on my own.

That the world isnt out for me at all, i am just one among billions

What makes me so different to the rest of them?

what makes me so special?

I will rise again, i will be myself and i will get what i want from life

The place, the People, the Girl – LIFE, where ever it may take me

Im willing to embrace and live right now.

for no other reason then to enjoy the moment with the people who matter

Excuse me while i cry and release this bad energy.

i no longer want it to be a part of me.

and now i can breathe.

Clark French

my time.

My time.

Throughout this time

This life of mine

I’ve come to find

Some piece of mind

the future was discomforting, scary and bleak

Now i embrace it, i climb every peak

I know this road leads to where i want to be

A place of contemplation -HAPPY-  just being me.

California

California.

Sometimes experience sits on the edge of reality

The moment resonates with unknown  frequency

This time i will remember till the end of my days

Both these beautiful  eyes focused on me?

How the hell did I get into this?

I don’t believe in luck because luck doesn’t believe in me.

This cant be real, I must be asleep?

That’s it! I worked this out, it must be a dream?

She’s Kind, intelligent, pretty and petit

The girl next door, innocent and sweet

Way too good for the likes of me

A metaphor worthy of her doesn’t exist

I could say she was like a summers day

Both more lovely and more temperate

But The words pale into insignificance

When my eyes look upon her face

A summers day could never compare

Where i’m from, summers still a world away.

This feels like a good dream, to good a dream to be for me

I don’t know what to think, how to act, what to feel

This Californian Girl is tangible, she’s beautiful. She’s real

Her smile warm’s this bitter English winter

Which has raged for all too many years

This ice just melts at the merest thought.

She will be mine.

Clark French

Cardiff Gulls

Gulls of cardiff why cant you go back to sea?

Oh why, oh why do you pick on me?

Its 6am and i have not had much sleep!

You wake me up and i cant get back to my dreams.

See im not usually the kinda person

To ever like the scene of death.

But i do admit, i did enjoy,

that sight of a seagull dead.

See, the gulls have made me hate,

Something i do try to avoid.

But what did they expect?

When they make such a loud noise!

Clark French